Labor Day has come and gone. Summer has finally fizzled out. The Fall Equinox will take place on Friday. Many Sierra Club witches will dance around a bonfire because of it! The End is nigh...
Prior to the fizzle, a few bands I really like decided to stop in the SLC. I was able to see most of them. Below is my systematic evaluation of each of my summer concert experiences. I sorta created a rubric:
Maximum points: 100
Rarely do concerts score 100 points. (I have only ever attended four "100-pointers" in my life).
The first was a Weezer concert at club DV8 in 1997. Weezer was touring for
"Pinkerton" and the venue was just right. They had a perfectly underrated opening band
(The Pulsars),
great T-shirts, and the crowd banter was so intimate, I invited them all over to my house for spaghetti.
The second was a Radiohead concert when they came to the USANA Amphitheater in 2003. Somehow we got excellent seats right in front of the stage. Radiohead was touring for
"Hail to the Thief." Stephen Malkmus opened for them and they played most of their unparalleled catalog. I don't know if you've ever had a memory in color, but I did of that night. It was purple.
The third was Dr. Dog in 2007. They played in some side-room at In the Venue and they were touring for
"We All Belong." I'd never heard of them before, so it was incredibly amazing to get hooked on their catalog and live act all in one night. They played the hell out of their albums and to see them harmonize live is something special. It was intimate, and I felt like the show was just for me.
The fourth was Wilco in 2008. They came to Red Butte Gardens, they were touring for
"Sky Blue Sky" and the
Fleet Foxes opened. That concert christened my adult concert-going mojo into what it is today.
Anyhoo....
How to does a concert get 100-points? Here's the breakdown:
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 20 points
I have to like the band, of course. If I like a band, chances are they're cool. (It's just the way it is, folks).
Venue: 10 points
There's nothing worst than seeing a band you love in a crappy place. By "crappy place," I mean crappy sound, awful facilities, and low-class hooligans that aren't there to enjoy the music.
Mindblowing Setlist: 15 points
Some songs are better than others. It's that simple. When a band brings the mustard to my personal favorites, there's nothing better.
Quality of Opening Band: 10 points
This is sort of a big deal. If I'm gonna go see a band I love, its like, their opening band could be my next love! I guess it's like going on a blind date orchestrated by your best buddy. The potential is crazy!
Radness of T-Shirt: 15 points
Why go to a rad concert if you can't brag about it? Why brag about it if you can't prove it? Prove it with a concert-T. It's that simple.
View of Stage: 5 points
Live music is only cool if you can see your band rocking their instruments. If you can't, just listen to a live record, right?
Tastiness of Encore: 10 points
Encores are basically a formality nowadays. However, in this formality, there's a way for the band to say, "thanks." If the encore is good and rocking, the band is giving you thanks, which is a special thing.
Quality Crowd Banter: 5 points
How do my rock gods connect to a live audience? Are they jokesters? Are they poets? Are they all business? I want to know. Crowd banter helps me answer these questions.
Buddies Present: 10 points
Was I able to enjoy the experience with friends and/or family? Did it bring me closer to folks I care about? I mean, if you're reading this, you know that's one of the reasons why I enjoy live music. The "shared" experience. The witnesses. The proof.
Alright. Here goes, (in chronological order):
Total Points: 83 (score adjusted since we bailed on the encore to pick up our kids.)
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 17/20
Ever since Zach Braff (
who?) crushed on Natalie Portman (
wha?) in "The Garden State" (
oh...), The Shins have been "cool." However, the talented Mr. Mercer has since transcended that sort of fluffy coolness with some amazing tunage spanning the last four Shins albums.
Venue: 10/10
Red Butte Gardens is my favorite, okay?
Mindblowing Setlist: 10/15
Mr. Mercer played his hits and he played ample amounts of his new stuff. I dunno, though, he didn't drop some crazy cover or provide a jaw-dropping rendition of any of his songs. He and his band played well. The setlist was good. Just not mindblowing.
Quality of Opening Band(s): 6/10
Some dudes called "Blind Pilot" and "The Head and the Heart" opened for The Shins. I thought these bands were decent (good enough for me to research them after the show, anyway). However, besides some minor hype about "The Head and the Heart," they were just that--decent opening acts.
Radness of T-shirt: 10/15
The T-Shirt was mostly rad. It was black with a cool "skull-ish" design on the front with tour dates on the back. Nothing too iconic, but I like it.
View of Stage: 5/5
We were able to sit comfortably right where we wanted. The whole band in view, close enough to see facial expressions. Very nice.
Tastiness of Encore: NA
(We had to take off to pick up our kids.)
Quality of Crowd Banter: 5/5
Mr. Mercer was pleasant and dropped some compliments to us fans. He also let us know that he used to live in Roy, Utah! (Zoinks!)
Buddies Present: 10/10
Val was there. Swallz was there. Good time.
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 20/20
I effing love Wilco. They're one of my favorite rock and roll bands of all time, so yeah, they're coolness points are as high as you can get.
Red Butte Gardens is my favorite, okay?
Mindblowing Setlist: 14/15
Wilco played a killer setlist. It was all there,
except...
Quality of Opening Band(s): 6/10
Blitzen Trapper opened for Wilco. Blitzen Trapper is like a poor man's Wilco. They sound all "alt-country" and stuff, but yeah, why slurp the gutter when you can go straight to the well?
Radness of T-shirt: 15/15
Black shirt, sweet art-deco-ish airplane. Wilco strongly emblazoned across the chest. Tour dates on the back. Veddy, veddy nice.
I literally wanted to perch right up to Nels Cline, have my face melted away. I was close enough to feel the heat, but yeah, no melting.
Tastiness of Encore: 10/10
Wilco double-encored! They played rarities and their secret hits! Totally gracious and raucous!
Quality of Crowd Banter: 5/5
Tweedy is really, really good at this. He's deadpan. He's a poet. He hates the bourgeois.
Miraculous buddy connections and intercosmic vibes!
Total Points: 82
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 20/20
MMJ are really cool because they are an acquired taste. I happen to believe once you've acquired the taste, they are an epically transcendent rock and roll band for the ages.
Pioneer Park is for hobos. Let's be honest. The sound was overly "bass-y" but these guys did manage to still rock pretty hard.
Mindblowing Setlist: 13/15
They're only getting a "13" because I guess 3 days earlier they rocked
Colorado's Red Rocks pretty hard for 3 hours with rad covers and rarities. (I mean, c'mon...share the love!)
Quality of Opening Band(s): 6/10
Joshua James was a good act. I'd just prefer to hear Ryan Adams sing those songs, I guess...
Radness of T-shirt: 15/15
Dark, navy blue t-shirt with great design featuring all of the bands albums in old-timey mason jars. This might have been my most favorite t-shirt of the summer! Very cool...
I was swagging it up in VIP! The view from there was just okay, but yeah, I can't complain...
Tastiness of Encore: 7/10
"
Victory Dance" is a helluva way to encore! Victory Dance indeed!
Quality of Crowd Banter: 2/5
Jim James was communing with other worldly beings that night, not the crowd.
Val, dudes from high school. All good.
Norah Jones
Total Points: 58
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 10/20
Look. Norah Jones won me over when I saw her live. The thing is, she's not "cool" in the Ben Book of Coolness for the following reason: I worked with this dude named Cecil, and he liked her. In fact I first heard about Norah Jones from Cecil.
Cecil was a complete werido.
This is why Norah Jones is not that cool in the Ben Book of Coolenss.
Mindblowing Setlist: 10/15
I don't know her stuff all that well, but I liked it.
Quality of Opening Band(s): 4/10
I don't remember their names. That probably tells you enough...
I just wouldn't be able to rock a Norah Jones tee, okay.
Val scored a sweet spot. I have to tell you, being that close to her and her voice was pretty amazing. I couldn't believe we share the same type of oxygen. Just crazy beautiful...
Tastiness of Encore: 8/10
Miss Jones and her crew provided a nice rendition of "Come Away With Me."
Quality of Crowd Banter: 2/5
She had weird banter. I thought she was sorta weird--but a good weird.
Valerie.
M. Ward
Total Points: 75
Overall Ben Points for Coolness: 20/20
M. Ward is "the guy behind the guy" cool. His indie-folk-rock cred is pretty damned high. He's played, produced, arranged, and face-melted with just about everybody for the past 10 years. He is a disciple of 50's, 60's pop and knows how to turn it into current sublimity.
Venue: 5/10
Pioneer Park is for hobos.
Mindblowing Setlist: 10/15
My buddy M. Ward didn't translate "live" for me. I think it was the venue, though. I'd love to see him in some small, burned-out club some time.
Quality of Opening Band(s): 8/10
Devotchka had a lady doing trapeze stuff. That is cool.
Radness of T-shirt: 12/15
Wonderful gray shirt, quirky design, but no tour dates.
Rocked the VIP again, it was nice. But yeah, the sound and stuff was not too hot back there.
Tastiness of Encore: 7/10
I'm still gonna blame the venue on this, but I just couldn't sink my teeth into him live. He played some nice hits, but no jaw-droppers.
Quality of Crowd Banter: 2/5
Val couldn't make it, but I did share the VIP with some homies.
